Spadina Therapy Centre: Couple Therapy & Marriage Couselling Toronto

Couple Counselling

The Spadina Therapy Centre provides both individual and couple therapy in Toronto. Because of the number of qualified therapists at the Centre we are able to provide a diversity of therapeutic services. For example, some people come initially for individual therapy, but soon find out that their relationship concerns are a major priority. Others come for help as part of a couple, but become intrigued by the therapeutic process and decide to do some individual work, when the couple work has been finished. At times it is preferable to keep working with the same therapist, sometimes it is better to switch. We have the flexibility and capacity to meet the needs of clients in an effective and efficient manner, in one location.

Relationships have certain phases such as the falling in love start and a period of satisfaction and hope. Challenges and difficulties arise for all couples and if they are handled well, the relationship evolves essentially as a productive and supportive one. If these challenges are not handled well, the relationship becomes more unproductive and unsatisfying.

The therapy, although unique to each couple, usually addresses three important stages:

1. Identifying current unproductive patterns - Is this how you usually argue? What things trigger disputes and shut down communication? What is upsetting about it? What is the real issue? Why is this important? What feelings does it evoke?

2. Identifying how current unproductive patterns are related to the past - How are the current difficulties in the relationship similar to your experience of what happened in your family of origin? How do the roles, rules, secrets, and alliances that you experienced in your family of origin impact on your current relationship?

3. Shifting hurtful patterns - this process involves steps such as:

Creating greater empathy for each partner's deepest self needs, fears and reactions.
Helping each partner to find new and more productive ways of responding to their partner, especially when confronted by "negative" patterns that often cause difficulty.
Learning to express needs and fears more directly.
Learning to cope with difficulties such as depression, anxiety, addictions, illness, anger, and sexualizing that can undermine a relationship.

Common issues that often underlie couple difficulties are:

Issues of equity and fairness; equal sharing responsibility.
Issues related to closeness and distance; pursuing and distancing patterns
Issues of power, control, one-up, one-down vs vulnerability and equality.
Issues of flexibility, negotiation, compromise and creativity vs rigidity, conflict and feeling stuck.

Couples therapy can work hand in hand with individual therapy; they both can lead to greater freedom to be oneself, to be more fulfilled and to love one's partner as one loves oneself.

Date last updated: August 12, 2006